Punishment, removing privileges, praise, criticism, distraction, and a lot of the other things people usually do to "discipline" don’t actually do much to teach your child good or right behavior. More often than not, they teach children to be vengeful, praise-seeking, or distracted.
But, if we show #EMPATHY and treat them the same way we want to be treated, then it will be easier for them to learn how to act better.
Let me share 6 simple ways to practice Positive Discipline with your children. I'm telling you now, it is not easy to parent (i.e. be the role model) because more often than not, when our child throws a tantrum, WE THROW A TANTRUM TOO. 😂😂😂
That's absolutely okay, we parents are not perfect.
It's our fight or flight instinct kicking in, but as the adult with a developed prefrontal cortex (PFC), it's up to us to be the rational and calm one (easier said than done of course, that's why I made this summary to help myself be more mindful about my actions, and maybe it can help you too).
PFC is responsible for reasoning, morality, stopping impulses, developing focus, and logic but it takes 25 years to develop. Therefore, it's no surprise why kids may not listen right away or would just keep whining. They are not trying to give us a hard time, it is most likely that they're having a hard time.
This is not to imply that we just let the negative behavior happen, but more of understand the cause so we can help our child. And again, it's never easy to be the patient one (especially if you are stretched beyond limits). Parenting is a journey with our children, with our partners and there are many teaching moments not just for the kids, but for us too.
FYI, I'm not calm all the time but just as I share in the PD sessions: when we interact with kids, we can try to be REFLECTIVE (values drive our action) instead of REACTIVE (emotions drive our action).
I hope you join the last face-to-face session for this year (Feb 29,2020).
Register here: bit.ly/PDWorksFeb2020
I will have less parenting talks (& less posts) this year as I need to focus my energy on my family and other things close to my heart.