I always share this quote whenever I hold Positive Discipline workshops and it is more appropriate than ever, not just because you may need to work from home more often & deal with energetic kids a lot longer due to the community quarantine, but because some adults nowadays aren't exactly modelling the right behavior to children in times of crisis.
It's extremely hard to be patient with others nowadays but #PositiveDiscipline techniques we apply for children can help us deal with others better - the intent is not to change them, but to change how you respond.
Maybe, this way we can spread more kindness (instead of germs).
STEP 1: Be empathetic. Let us acknowledge how others are feeling.
This is not to say the behavior is acceptable, but we understand why people are acting in a certain way & instead of stopping the behavior, the goal is to find its cause. Address the cause, and you can stop the behavior long term.
Me: "I see you are very worried too (the woman got the last 5 bottles of alcohol)"
STEP 2: Connect - show acceptance of their emotions (not their behavior).
"I am too. I am scared for my family. I live in _____ and there are already ___ cases in our municipality. I also have a baby and my parents live with us. This is the 4th store I went to, to find Alcohol."
Person A: "Same, I live with my parents too. I'm the only one who takes care of them."
Step 3: Teach what they can do.
Me: "Maybe we can share? Or trade? what do you need that I have in my cart?"
Person A: "You know what, you can have these." (hands me 2 bottles of alcohol). I'm also looking for garlic but there's none!"
Me: "Thank you so much! I want to hug you! Me too! I don't know how we'll make Adobo without garlic."
That situation would have gone south if I snarked at her. I may have ended in another viral video of people fighting over toiletries. But, doing that will not improve the situation.
And yes, I deal with adults the same way I deal with kids. We all experience big emotions especially nowadays. We just need to show empathy because God knows, that can be the only thing that can really prevent the spread of #COVID19.
Stay safe everyone!
P.S. I've added slots to the Positive Discipline Online Workshops. You may register here.
Mar 21, 2020
Mar 28, 2020